co-dependent with no body to depend on
there are heartbeats in the walls
when you share bad news and people say sorry??! I don’t understand??? you did nothing wrong shut up don’t pity me
Dealing with the death of your beloved pet
I can’t, I can’t do it.
8 years old, the day after my birthday, I woke up to find a black miniature dachshund sleeping at the bottom of my bed. It was Sonny-boy. My grandparents knew how much I loved their dog that when they moved overseas they decided to leave him in my hands. I was so honored and happy and excited because I loved him so dearly, and to this day, I still do.
I’m 18 in a couple months, and it breaks my heart because I don’t think he’s going to be able to make it to our 10th anniversary.
This morning I took Sonny into the vet for a very casual check up, however it quickly turned into a break out of unfortunate news. They found a large tumor in his jaw, and because of his age (16), we all decided that the multiple arrangement of surgeries would be far too traumatic for him. My Sonny is under a lot of pain at the moment, so they patched him up with 3 day long pain killers.
3 days? is that all? But I’m not ready!
My heart is sore and my body is filled with heavy sorrow. My face stings from all the crying and I’m so so so tired.
I’m trying to cope, I’m trying to be able to accept that death is a part of life. I’m being selfish and pleading for him to remain by my side, like it’s always been.
I’m saying “don’t leave me, please, don’t leave me.” and thinking “take me with you, please, take me with you.”
I have no friends…
whys everything gotta turn to shit for me
A new friendship has been kindled between myself and this English boy, with brooding good looks of a messy wad of chocolatey brown hair, a sharp jawline and piercing green eyes. He’s a musical talent in multiple instruments and raw vocals, where he erupts a deep tired voice that captivated me from the very beginning… and on the first 5 seconds of our phone call, I was utterly hooked. Late night phone calls are a thing for us because our timelines are so different, but he’s so totally worth waking up at 3 in the morning for, because he always has something deliciously intriguing to share, with this seemingly infinite vocabulary of articulation. He has such a big view on the world, sees so much beauty and potential in it, and yet, quite ironically, he carries very little confidence in himself, which is sad really, because he’s so fucking brilliant and he doesn’t even know it.